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Forgiveness
10/30/02
Forgiveness
We were talking about forgiveness in class today in school. Kind of a segue (I THINK that's how to spell it.. I'm too lazy to look it up...) into the old question "should you forgive someone if they don't ask your forgiveness?" Anyways, I was very hurt for a long time by someone and it was all unresolved. It took me a long time and it took him a long time for us to come together again. I had kinda tried to get over it and forget for a while afterwards. Then, a day or so ago, a friend was saying that she had the same exact problem, which sparked a semi-discussion on "guarding our hearts" and reminded me of my two-month-long struggle. And it WAS a struggle. I mean, who would have thought that CASSIE would get burned by a guy? Nevertheless, I did, and somehow I seemed to learn from my mistake. Or his mistake. Or The Mistake. Whatever it was, God seemed to have done something with it. The other thing that was brought up in class was the fact that forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting. I think that's an interesting concept. Because, like, if we could just forget about all the wrongs done to us, it would be relatively easy to forgive. But we can't. I can't forget, since I'm human and I miss things and I have selfish dreams and foolish expectations. It's not that I particularly enjoy writing about my downfalls and foolishness, it's simply that I like to get things off my chest, to them out in the open, away from the imagined prying eyes of my friends and into public domain. I like to put things in writing so that everyone can know where I stand, and I'll always be held to that same position. Because I won't change writing and I want things on the record. I want to say it so it doesn't hurt anymore - I got burned. Burned, burned, burned. What's up with I Kissed Dating Goodbye? I mean, I thought now that I was older I'd suddenly meet that one singular someone amazing and know for sure that it was from God and for forever. But why didn't I know that just because someone is sweet, kind, godly, gentle, funny, and talented, that he isn't for me? God works even in my most precarious of situations, so He can make accommodations for even me.
And I learned to forgive,
Through a boy,
With blond hair and hazel eyes.
I fell, I felt, I got burned,
And he stepped on me,
When his eyes were star-crossed
(but for someone else).
Then he picked me up,
And my shame was shown,
As my smile was crushed,
Beneath his foot.
He didn't know,
But he hurt me.
And I hated to fall,
(the humiliATION!)
I even hated his stolen smile,
That I thought he took from me.
And I missed the adoration,
That he took with him,
When he stopped talking to me.
But through his thievery,
And through what I thought I lost,
I gained an apology.
And he gained some forgiveness.
And in the end,
having learned something new,
We all came out,
Having experienced something,
For the better.
And all was for the better.
And God's love is, once more, only shown to be more supreme, most precious, more beautiful, more everlasting and sweeter with every changing passing moment. Thanks Lord, for Your love.
5 comments
Cassie... what can I say? I had no idea, no intention...
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry. random thought -- whenever I hear this song I think of cassie. it just make sme think of her for some reason.
listen to it here Cassie,
You sound a lot like me. I had a very similar experience last year. I have to tell you, I still have the scars, but I do know that God has forgiven me and helped me to forgive the girl. (and we're friends, though it was shaky for awhile.) Thank you for sharing that.
*hugs*
JC 
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