Juxtapose

Today was my day for random errands. I hiked up to The Nash early this morn to get my social security stuff changed to my new name because until then, I can't change anything else. I walked right in, got seen within 15 minutes (which was, oh.. four hours shorter than the wait at the Lowell office) and got my name changed. That was easy. In fact, incredibly easy. Like, you'd think that changing your social security stuff would be this complicated thing, but it wasn't. I was all ready with about fifteen forms of ID - passport, license, nursing license, school ID, all this stuff - and they didn't use a darn one besides my license and my marriage certificate. So, hallelujah.

So the thing is, it's easy to change your name with social security, with the feds, the Big Guys, you know, Big Brother and all that, but then I went down to the RMV to change my drivers' license over, and they won't accept my old social security card plus the receipt (FROM THE SS OFFICE!) that says that my name is legally changed. So now I'm waiting for my card to come in the mail, because, you know, there's no way ANYONE could ever print out a fake SS card that we're not allowed to laminate or whatever. But someone is totally going to go up to the social security office in New Hampshire and print out a fake name change receipt on their letterhead. But.. whatever.

It all goes back to the old caveat about how Devil Patrick, our wonderful governor here, wants to have free this and free that and universal for all of every resource available to taxpayers, and how you can be from anywhere and come here to Massachusetts, illegally, and you can get a near free ride because people decide to feel badly for you, but I pay m'darn taxes and have lived in Massachusetts my whole life and I have to sacrifice my first born to keep my license legal.

Anyways. I went to the registry and got the paperwork and read it in the car. Of course, I need the seventeen forms of ID for real this time, as well as a utility bill or bank statement. All our bills are in Mark's name, and I know from Mark's experience trying to change his license from VA to MA that they won't accept credit card bills as proof of residency, so I drove down to the bank, determined to figure this out.

Well, the bank needs a utility bill. I said, "But everything is in my husband's name... is it so bizarre that people get married these days? Do husbands and wives pay separate bills now?" The guy said, "I don't know. I'm sorry. I need your license with the new address or a bill from utilities."

So I went home and sat, crabby, for a few minutes. But then i went on the RMV website to check for some loopholes, and there, bright as day - change your address ONLINE. Ha! So I need a utility bill to prove I live where I am if I go into the RMV physically, but if I sit on my butt in my apartment and log on from there, I can change my residential address with no proof. I am so confused.

I am turning the world upside down on it's head.