Juxtapose

A side effect of the current low census at my hospital is that I have had many, many days off the past month. On average, I've worked a shift a week, sometimes less, so I have a lot of time off these days. This is no good on the paycheck/savings side of things, but considering my busy schedule the past year and a half that I've worked there, I figure that it all is just part of the ebb and flow and that it'll all balance out by the end of the year.

This is all to say that another side effect of the low census and my days at home is the opportunity to see, for the first time in my life, really, the wonder that is daytime television. It's true what they say - there is almost absolutely nothing on television during the day. We don't have cable - a waste of money, really - and our little bunny ears only pick up about four and a half channels of moderately-fuzzy fare. The days I am home, I have a hard time sitting still long enough to even watch the news, but if I'm not in the mood for music on the stereo, I'll put on the teevee for background noise while I'm reading. This yields some interesting results, at times.

These days, I've come to appreciate the hilarity of daytime television advertising, which is an amusing admixture of useless household implement infomercials, Send in Your Gold for Cash schemes, and "You can train with ITT Technical College to earn an exciting living in medical assisting!!!" This is all sandwiched endearingly between Court TV, the Tyra Show (worth a watch at least once in your life for a look at, truly, the dumbest and most awkward television personality to date), and my newest favorite trash talk show - The Drs.

Yes, "The Drs" is the name of a talk show. Not, "The Doctors," no... The Drs. Though I had never heard of this show before today, I have to say that the only thing worse than some of the embarrassing/awkward/disgusting courses of MD study - proctology, urology, podiatry come to mind at the moment - nothing could quite compare with the loss of decorum and dignity it must take to lower yourself to become a teevee doctor answering incessant questions from 45 year old housewives about yeast infections. The worst thing about it is the hilarity of the outfits. Sitting behind a little island decorated with a sad-looking EKG lead readout (which, if it were real, would have me running for the code cart posthaste), the four Drs are each in varying outfits that look more like the Halloween representation of a doctor than anything else. Dr Babe, OB/GYN has the giant 90's fan-bang thing going on and wears saucy heels and jewelery with a lab coat over it all while she suggests come cranberry juice for that UTI. Hot Young Surgeon, MD, wears a strange teal-colored set of scrubs and Danskos while looking through the television and right into your soul. Dr Middle-Aged Hospitalist wears a nice turtleneck under his lab coat and is suckered with trying out, live on the air, the brunt of all the alternative therapy ideas that are brought up by callers to the show. And, last but not least, Friendly Family Physician, MD, in his houndstooth suit and monochrome tie, wears nothing indicative of his doctoral status other than a stethoscope, draped limply and uselessly around his neck.

The only thing sillier than this show, I feel, is that, unfortunately, the last five minutes of today's show has been cut off by NBC News Special Report on Obama's speech. Okay, I mean, I know this is important, but now I will never know whether or not vinegar helps to fade age spots or not.