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Just In Time for the Holidays

12/23/05

Just In Time for the Holidays

Permalink 08:03:00 am by cassie, Categories: Announcements [A]

To illustrate what a colossal waste of New England's energy, money, and media the Red Sox are, look no further than the recent developments, an equally colossal head-nod to American consumerism. Damon, the babylove of ninety-eight percent of New Englanders, paid the heartrending sacrifice of cutting ties with his obviously beloved Red Sox for a 12 million dollar raise from George Steinbrenner. Although, I'm sure I shouldn't poke fun because, as we all know, the 12 million is going to charity.

Frankly, everyone I know, pretty much, is gaga over baseball. I think it's boring. B-O-R-I-N-G. But beyond that (since boringness isn't a reason to go on tirades) I hate the way people rearrange their lives over it. I hate baseball stories and I hate that the only classes the professors have cancelled at the students' pleading, in my entire college career at Riv, are the ones that bit into the first thirty minutes of a Sox game. How pitiful is that? How pitiful is it to pay grown men millions of dollars a year to throw a ball and run the bases? In stirrup pants? You just think about that one and get back to me.

I can't bring myself, honestly, to support any of this tomfoolery. If beauty and grace and artistry and the idolatry of a whole sizeable segment of the nation is found in forty year old men who whine about their salaries for working out all day, then call me crabby. Because I am. Red Sox fans make me cranky when they try to convince me to like this THING, this epitome of an idolatrous and otherwise silly pastime. If the news is so non-scintillating that we have to have a cover story on the front of our newspaper with JD'S FACE smothering two-thirds of the page and a big giant jpg of a sock unravelling and that's the only piece of news that gets people to make any kind of impassioned response, well then, maybe people aren't looking hard enough for the news.

So I guess my mantra of baseball being a crappy mascot for "All-American" is actually not entirely on the mark. The real question is - if Johnny Damon doesn't have Red Sox pride enough to stick around, then why the heck should you? If months and years of adoration and watching millions of people from stands all over the country waving Red Sox pennants isn't enough for Johnny Damon, for crying out loud, then why should it be enough for the American public.

So thank you, Mr. Damon, for illustrating why I have never been, am not currently, and will never be interested in your wares. I've had my fill of shelling out the bucks for myself and am selfish and greedy and boring enough on my own, without spending money to drive into Boston to watch you and your (former?) buddies prance about and be the materialization of those things for me. I already know that I'm a spoiled brat by nature and the last thing I want to do is wallow in it with every other Red Sox fan who doesn't know how to just enjoy a darn game of baseball without getting romantically and emotionally involved.

This is why baseball IS the all-American sport, filled with many people who are moneylusting, selfish, wearing stupid outfits because everyone else is doing it, and who everyone likes to think is the inhuman hero, when all the time they're just as human as the rest of us.

11 comments

Comment from: john [Visitor]
johnbaseball is not boring. tho they are getting over paid (not as much as football & basketball). you know what;s more exciting? college basketball. GO ILLINI!!!
12/04/05 @ 12:02
Comment from: ~`Stine [Visitor]
~`StineAmen Sister. I think baseball is boring too. I know about it, I appreciate when our team wins, but I totally 100+% agree with you.
12/23/05 @ 15:46
Comment from: [Visitor]
"If months and years of adoration and watching millions of people from stands all over the country waving Red Sox pennants isn't enough for Johnny Damon, for crying out loud, then why should it be enough for the American public." BECUASE HE IS A DIRTY TRAITOR! And besides, the rest of the loyal people of the Red Sox don't make even over 1 million, so if they were offered probably just one million, they'd become a yankees fan. Actually, I'm really big on baseball
12/23/05 @ 16:10
Comment from: nayrb [Visitor]
nayrbSo sorry! I hit the button before I was ready! I mean to say I am NOT big on baseball. The game I get bored with very easily. The thing is, I get very amused from stuff like this. People getting really mad that some guy went to the Yankees. Sometimes I listen to sports radio just to hear people blowing their heads off at something or another that really isn't of importance. That's what I like about baseball.
12/23/05 @ 16:12
Comment from: Cassie [Visitor]
CassieWHen enjoyed in moderation and without psychotic qualities, almost anything can become reasonable. I don't think all fans are ridiculous, just, like, 75%. Good point though, Bryan, good point.
12/24/05 @ 06:20
Comment from: sj [Visitor]
sjWay to go, Cass. You tell 'em.
12/24/05 @ 09:13
Comment from: Paperboy [Visitor]
PaperboyCassie, I just had to use some of your comments in this week's Copious Notes, which will be published on Friday, Dec. 30 and available on line at www.thevalleydispatch.com. I attributed the lines to "a friend of mine who is a nursing student at Rivier College." I hope you don't mind. The Paperboy.
12/26/05 @ 16:10
Comment from: Cassie [Visitor]
CassieOooooh no. You know how I crave the attention of the public. :)
12/26/05 @ 16:32
Comment from: Heidi [Visitor]
HeidiChristian Teen Fundamentalist Girl Squad!! Heidi: "I love baseball!! I'm a baseball fannn!!" *cassie's blog* *chomp!!!* *she's dead!* "Ohhh!! My half-of-my-body!" ;-)
12/27/05 @ 12:30
Comment from: beethoven89 [Visitor]
beethoven89Way to go Heidi!!!! GO SOX!!! GO PATS!!! Cass told me you were a big Sox and Pats fan!!
12/27/05 @ 19:28
Comment from: Chaz [Visitor]
ChazYou're just jealous.
12/28/05 @ 20:34
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I like to multi-task: wife, writer, nurse, Christian, ne'er do well. I do all with equal gusto.

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