Juxtapose

It is apparently that time of the year again where I have bi-weekly crashings that result in tears, extended hugs with my Mummy, and headaches. I think I take care of pretty much all my crying for the year in these days, leaving little waterworks left for weddings, childbirths, and funerals, among other things.

I am, however, temporarily recovered due to as good a night's sleep as I've gotten in a few weeks, and I think I'm ready to not be as terribly self-absorbed as I've felt for those same past few weeks. Considering the rather hellish weekend I feel looming above me, tonight, for all its studying, was extra-therapeutic.

Clinical bombed today, the same way it has seemed to bomb consistently since I started, but I love my patient. I love him I love him. I just don't like the whole clinical thing there. Anyhow, that passed by quickly enough, and before I knew it I was at the nursing lab putting in my work study hours. Before I knew it again, I was at Barnes and Noble with Sar at six PM. Somehow, SOMEHOW, we managed to get in a serious, solid 6-10:30PM study session in, wherein I finished three chapters of my nursing reading due for the exam I have on Tuesday. We met two very lovely people there, sitting right across from us in the couches. We made them a part of our fun and they made us a part of theirs, and I don't think I've met two more interesting people in Barnes and Noble ever before. They were strikingly ordinary in a very extraordinary way, and I very much enjoyed their company. I do hope I'll meet up with them again. They made the 4 1/2 hours of reading about alterations in respiratory status, fluid balance and electrolytes, altered GI function, and cardiovascular health in peds seem like twenty minutes. Well. Maybe thirty. But they made it trip along nicely, and Sar and I had a lot of fun.

I feel a little overwhelmed as of late. I got this shiny new dayplanner that I love and have showed/told everyone about probably a million times by now, and I love ticking off those little boxes for each assignment, but darn it if I feel like those boxes are up over my ears. I was going to go to a college and career thing tonight, but skipped that to study, and I'm glad I did. I knocked four hours off of the work I will have to do Saturday, Sunday afternoon, and Monday all day. This exam is just so oppressive right now, I'm all full of nerves, and I feel dumber than ever. I'm waiting for this quarter-semester funk to pass and for that numb I Am Student Robot phase to kick in so that I can really concentrate on the things I need to think about. Every waking moment is all, "Homework, homework, homework!" in my brain. Once I get used to that enough I'll be fine. It's just the interim that always gets to me.

So, amidst being a party pooper, skipping social outings and screwing up the prior plans of others (Sorry Sven and Drewey...), I am happy to report that Derek Webb WILL be in Amherst, NH, and that I WILL be going Sunday night to hear him preach the Word and sing us some songs and that I WILL be enjoying it because by that time I WILL have studied hard all day Saturday and most of Sunday so that I will be ready for this exam, my paperwork for clinical will be done, my ridiculous soc paper will be written, and all five million equally ridiculous care plans will be meticulously written down. Among other things. But I'm happy that my hopefully-productive yet no fun whatsoever weekend will result in Derek Webb.

Amen. Goodnight. And Amen.