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Calvary Comes to Grace.
05/07/06
Calvary Comes to Grace.
My mouth opens to sing but my eyes are everywhere else but my book every time, every Sunday. Standing up there in the choir loft just now, singing about the years I spent in vanity and pride knowing not my Lord was crucified, I looked out at the hundred or so people standing below me, hymnbooks in hand, singing and not even noticing I was taking them in during the process. My eyes welled and I saw what it is that keeps me there even though sometimes I know I might be better off somewhere else. I saw shapes and sizes of all sorts, young and old, strange looking and very "normal" (but what is that, anymore?), well-dressed and some looking more haggard. My eyes focused on the tattooed arms of some, the eighties Southern Baptist hair of others, my little brother with black-rimmed glasses and moppy hair, little girls in little ponchos crocheted by older sisters, and two faces in particular that I haven't seen inside of this church in years upon years, much more worn than they were in the past, but nonetheless there. Present. Here. With us, this Sunday, worshipping and, hopefully, taking solace and comfort and healing in the love that drew salvation's plan and the grace that brought it down to man.
Christianity is dirty work; putrid, filthy souls with seething open sores and wounds never properly dressed meet that Christ of pure white and they hesitate to embrace this God so as not to stain His garments. But then Jesus says, Come. Here. Sit by me a little while, it's okay. I'm not afraid of a little grime.
3 comments
this reminds me of what Fr. Tom or was it Msgr. Swetland said about confession & returning to God:
You don't come to God clean. You are dirty and all covered in mud, gunk, and every sin possible. It is God who makes you clean. It's up to you to come to Him and show yourself, no matter how badly you look, for He will clean you. I've been thinking about these things a lot lately. Although I would say that I take a stand on separation when it comes to doctrine, I think that too often we who call ourselves fundamental Christians withdraw ourselves too much from the people of the world. I often forget that my Jesus spent a lot of His time with the publicans and sinners (and that's where He found me). While we preach against the Pharisees of Jesus' day, that is exactly what we have become. I too Benjamin have been thanking God for the true forgivness of my sins. I forgive and pretend to forget but rarely do. God forgives and forgets, no remembering my many, many indiscretions or downfallings. I heard a very wise man say that when we come to GOd to confess a sin again God says "what sin?" How poinent (can't spell). He's not keeping a tally or scorecard on me, every time I come to Calvary the stain (and it is significant) is washed clean by Him, how comforting this has been to me. 
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