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A chip off the ol' Taj Mahjal.

11/20/03

A chip off the ol' Taj Mahjal.

Permalink 06:47:00 pm by cassie, Categories: Announcements [A]

I could have posted this in the comments under my last post, but since I'm likely to go on for at least a few minutes on this, I figure I should make it look like I updated, rather than nestling one more comment on a previous post. You learn these tricks occasionally.

In answer to some of the thoughts from Kate, Bri, Marti, and Heidi, I have to say as heartfelt of a 'thank you' as I could muster. This is difficult to fit into words, but suffice it to say that encouragement from those I have long looked up to spiritually never goes to waste in my life. Thank you, guys.

And, yeah, it does break my heart, Martha. I guess I've never seen the eyes and ears of stone thing in action so obviously. Most people I know reject the gospel outright. Very rarely have I met someone who, like my teacher, so blatantly glosses over the things she doesn't like, only to pick up at a convenient spot somewhere else. Harumph. Makes me feel silly. I know nothing of this woman beyond what she says about herself in class, but my heart really breaks for her. I could never quite understand people who had that ineffable love for souls. Like, not just a love for the people they know, but just for souls in general. I still don't have that, because the scope of the amount of people I will never meet or know in life is so beyond my ability to wrap my mind around. But.. I can see how people can meet someone, love them, and pray for mercy for them without knowing a thing about them beyond the fact that they're lost. Sometimes, five years post-homeschooling, I still feel like I'm walking out my front door into a world that is completely unfamiliar and new. God opens our eyes everyday, I guess.

I guess I'm just now learning what it is to be a witness. I've never been one to stand on tables in the middle of a restaurant and pray at the top of my lungs so that people will hear and respond (whether positively, or, more likely, negatively), but I think my most recent struggle (I know.. another one?) has been in accepting some of that Christian cheesiness that I have never been comfortable with. This doesn't mean I'll be passing out TestaMints and Bible Character Bubblegum cards out between classes or anything, don't get me wrong. I think I've always had this elitist attitude about the meat and the milk of the Word. If I had things my way, I would say that we should always preach the meat. After all, it's the most.. well, meaty and filling of the Word. But the Bible does say that there are those who are still suckling the milk, and when I discredit that, I'm, effectively, saying that I know how it should all be. Well, I don't. Again, if I had my way, meat would be given more often so that those who are continually trying to feast off of the milk without ever maturing would have to reach for the doctrine, the difficult and deepweighty things of the Scripture. But then there are those times when I sit, like today, and talk to the kids in my Bible class, and all they understand is the milk. Who am I to deprive them of it in the name of making them reach for heavy doctrine they cannot yet understand? In this, I'm forced to measure my words and put thought into them from the perspective of those who barely realize who God is. I studied with a few friends from my class today, researching a project we have due as a final grade in our Bible class. I'm torn in so many directions. The questions we are supposed to address almost back me into a corner where I can't say what I want. The questions are running rampant in my head now:

"Can I say this in a way that shows I don't agree with it?"

"Should I preface my oral presentation with a disclaimer?"

I don't want to blaspheme, but I don't want to get a bad grade and have to take this class again. I don't know what is blasphemous, but I know the things I certainly do not want to say. As I talked with the girls today, they kept asking me questions about how they should understand this or that. A few times they argued, but I told them that it's mostly a matter of faith, that I don't think you can or should take something halfway on faith but leave the rest to rot. Near the end of a studying, one of the girls, Theresa, whose company I enjoy a great deal, said in response to a question, "Ask the Bible scholar, Cass." I snorted. And yes, I really do snort - there go my chances of ever getting married. I snorted in an expression of incredulity. I am NOT a Bible scholar. Not even close. Not even a tiny bit. I know approximately what amounts to a little chip off of the corner of a 1x1 inch tile stuck in the floor of the largest room in the Taj Mahjal. Probably less. But I know more than they do, and, oh, by the way,...

...what the heck am I doing keeping it all to myself?

3 comments

Comment from: dave [Visitor]
daveI once did a Puzz-3D of the Taj Mahal. It took me 3 weeks.
11/23/03 @ 13:29
Comment from: Cassie [Visitor]
CassieI, on the other hand, have never done a Puzz-3D of anything. And anyways, thanks for gracing my blog with your presence.
11/24/03 @ 04:41
Comment from: martini [Visitor]
martiniYou call that keeping it to yourself, Cassie? If you are as bold and forthright with the truth IRL as you are on the net, you have little to worry about, and the world, much to fear. :o)
11/24/03 @ 20:10
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I like to multi-task: wife, writer, nurse, Christian, ne'er do well. I do all with equal gusto.

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